#15 - I Am... The CraftMaster™!

I do not consider myself to be an artsy-craftsy kind of guy. I watch my wife while she scraps of an evening and think wistfully to myself, "Must be nice." But I'll never try it. My total contributions to any given scrapbook in our house consist of occasional journaling that she gets me to do. Trust me, it's safer that way.

In times past - during the Messofzodiacs Era - I was a model railroader. When Mrs. Woody and I were first married, I was still revelling in the reflected glow of carefree evenings where we could do any number of things with no interruptions. Jigsaw puzzles, videos, quiet reading time, or hobbies. One of mine was model railroading. I still have my layout hiding safely behind our family room couch with track laid, but in sore need of maintenance. After all, I haven't really touched it since Woodyette Number One was born. Coming dangerously close to "arts and crafts" is the act of putting together a model of, say, a five and dime storefront, circa 1910. We guys mask this behavior by comparing it to building model airplanes or cars when we were younger. Same thing, we argue. It's not "artsy" or even "craftsy," it's just modelling. Or, if you use parts from different kits, you can call it by its somewhat more testosterone-ish appellation, "kit bashing."

Mrs. Woody has served as a poster maker of no small renown in the church. I will admit that, on occasion, I have aided and abetted by giving, erm, technical assistance to make her job easier. I'm not an artist, but I can help.

So why is it that late on a Tuesday evening I find myself making Valentine Boxes for my daughters?

Mrs. Woody was feeling just a tad overwhelmed about tomorrow. Tomorrow is Great Brain Day in our homeschool group. It's a chance for the kids in the group to show off what they've been learning so far this year. They can demonstrate something, perform a musical number, or do a table display. My ultra-shy girls will, of course, do a table display. They will show things they've been learning about the Nez Perce tribe. Even as we speak they are a thundering herd of buffalo. Amazing how well they thunder.

Anyway, on top of the Great Brain Day activities, the girls also were to be prepared with Valentines to hand out, and a Valentine Box each to receive Valentines from others. With so much to have prepared in so short a span of time our Headmistress was feeling a tremendous weight. She laid out what needed to be accomplished, and I arrived at a decision. I volunteered to make the Valentine Boxes.

Mrs. Woody was extremely grateful, but Woody was proportionately nervous. It took me a solid half hour of wandering around the house looking for some sort of inspiration before I decided on a basic design. I found a half sheet of poster board and from it made two simple open boxes. A cut out heart shape with a craft foam heart in its place that the girls decorated. Simple. To the point. Ar..rrr..rrrt... don't make me say it.

Ok... artsy.

I can't imagine that anyone will be seriously impressed with my project tomorrow. However, the girls will have their boxes and will be able to receive their Valentines and have something in which to bring them home.

I, however, am exhausted. May have to call in sick tomorrow. I wonder if this Martha Stewart hormone I've suddenly developed will land me in Club Fed?

Oy.