Wednesday, April 20, 2005

#33 - Peace Disturbed

So today was International Noise Awareness Day. I had no idea such a day existed, but then I also learned just the other day that some sap put together a day to celebrate trees for cryin' out loud. Like, Euell Gibbons came back from the dead to worship his favorite meal, or something.

As I pondered the implications of a day dedicated to being aware of noise, I admit to being just a bit flummoxed... How does one adequately address noise in a world where... um... what is it, Sweetheart? Daddy is blogging... Your sister did what? Go see Mommy, please. Daddy can't answer that right now.

Where was I? Oh, noise awareness. Right. Anyway, I was wondering how in the world one could possibly not be aware of noise. Especially here in sunny Southern California - traffic capitol of this world and every new planet they're discovering around stars that could have ours for lunch. While I admit I can pretty much ignore most traffic noise, those doggoned traffic reporters that fly overhead at all hours of the day and night can always get my attention. In fact, one of those turkeys flew (har!) overhead just a few hours... what now, Sweetie? Daddy is really busy right now... No, I can't make your sister stop doing whatever it is she's doing. Didn't you talk to Mommy? And what did she say? Alright, then. Why don't you try that? Thank you, Sweetheart...

Sorry. Let's see... I was talking about traffic helicopters. At least, I think I was. Oh, well. No matter. The issue here is Noise Awareness. I tend to feel that this is tantamount to kids asking why we have a Mothers Day and a Fathers Day but not a Kids Day. Every parent has this conversation. I even remember asking my Mom about it, and she gave me the standard Parental Answer: "Honey, every day is Kids Day." We never liked this answer, but I understand it now. Especially when my kids are... Sweetheart! Please stop yelling at your sister! That's not helping anything! No, I'm not yelling at you! Well... yes, I am! But I'm the Daddy! Your room, please, and close the door!

I really apologize about that. I truly did intend to have a meaningful discussion of what apparently has become important enough to merit having an International Day dedicated to it. I wonder if they've managed to get this message out to those twits who somehow believe I like their over-bassed thumpa-thumpa music while they're driving neck-and-neck with me on the freeway. Unfortunately, these guys always catch up to me when I'm driving my Honda, which has no air conditioning and forces me to drive with my windows down. You can just imagine how much I appreci... Sweetie! What?! What do you want now?! You two are screaming like banshees in that room and the entire neighborhood can hear you! Settle down and quit making so much noise!

Um, lessee... I keep losing my train of thought... Oh, yes. The boom-box crowd. Really, I don't understand how these guys can function at anything above the level of your average paramecium, given the amount of nerve damage they must... WHO'S SCREAMING? Did someone get hurt? How? On the bunk bed ladder?? WELL, GET OFF OF IT AND LET YOUR SISTER CLIMB DOWN!!


Anyway, go read up on International Noise Awareness Day. I'm certain it's incredibly important, but I'm having a hard time getting behind it. I mean, it's not like I'm a party animal, or anything, and I certainly don't go around polluting the neighborhood with a lot of racket.

All things considered, it's pretty quiet around here.

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